Marriage takes work.  We’ve heard that repeatedly. You’ll find a plethora of articles, videos, and books about the problems that occur in marriage and how to fix them to avoid divorce or to have a happy marriage.  Sure, there are problems that occur in marriages or any relationship for that matter, but there are also good times to be remembered and cherished.  We need to remember the good times and make some new good times starting now.

I would like to present to you a few ways to improve your marriage relationship as you head towards the goal of a happy marriage.  Focus on the good and not the bad (or the work).  Learn to enjoy yourself together as you do with your best friend before marriage.  You didn’t analyze the relationship, follow the 5 steps to a great friendship, or the like.  You simply spent time with your friend, worked out your differences, proved your friendship repeatedly, and simply enjoyed each other’s company.  Why not do the same thing for a marriage?

Have Fun Together

The book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible is a phenomenal book.  It changed my life when I really sat down and read it many years ago.  One of the things that stood out to me is found at Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 and 8:15.

“Here is what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it is his [a]heritage. 19 As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his [b]heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God. 20 For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart.”

“So I commended enjoyment because a man has nothing better under the sun than to eat, drink, and be merry; for this will remain with him in his labor all the days of his life which God gives him under the sun.”

Enjoy your life as much as you can with dignity, integrity, and righteousness.  In other words, be legal and godly about what you do.  You work hard so, play and have fun with your spouse.  Go on vacations, play in the yard, tackle her to the ground (or bed), play ball or whatever with the kids, go to an amusement park, etc.  Enjoy your life!  Don’t make marriage another action item on your list of things to do.  Make it an integral part of your life where you can unwind, relax, and enjoy yourself.  Focus on enjoying what you’ve accomplished.

Have Great Sex!

Come on.  Of course, I was going to include this!   I don’t need to tell you about the benefits (and necessity) of having sex with your partner frequently (based on your own relationship).  However, don’t make having sex into an action item either.  Have fun and enjoy your life together even through your sexual relationship with your spouse.

Stop giving so many other things more priority than your own marriage relationship.  If you can do an extra few reps after you thought you could do no more, then you can do a little more to have sex or have an intimate encounter with your spouse, even when you are tired or not up to it.  If you can find the energy to work late then you can make the energy to have sex.  Make your relationship a priority by having regular sex and enjoy your life together.

Change Your Attitude

A husband can show his affection towards his wife by helping her with such things as washing the dishes or cleaning the house.  The attitude here is that the woman has her duties and the man has his.  Typically, it is expected that the woman will wash dishes, cook, wash clothes, clean the house, decorate, etc. and the man will fix things around the house, paint, do lawn care, etc.  Forget about all that to some extent.  Instead just help each other and have some fun with it.  Help your wife (or husband) wash the dishes and splash her/him with water playfully or take the time to have a discussion.

Change your attitude about housework and responsibilities. Perhaps the man likes to clean or wash dishes.  My brothers and I washed dishes, cleaned the house, and more when we were growing up.  Don’t assume that certain things are the woman’s job, but instead work things out together, and cross train while having some fun doing it.  Why have work and no fun?  Change your attitude about things and open a new world of possibilities for enjoying time together.

Share Dreams and Passions

Don’t spend your life in front of the television watching your favorite soap opera, sitcom, or ballgame.  Spend some time in front of each other and talk to each other. Share your dreams and passions.  Share with your spouse, the things that you really would like to accomplish and the things that you love doing.  I’ve always found such conversations with my wife very enjoyable.  Don’t wait until you are on vacation to talk to each other.

Perhaps you would like to have a vacation somewhere or would like to see a certain part of the world.  Perhaps you’d like to try some new sex positions or have sex someplace else besides the bedroom.  Whatever it might be, just talk about it with your spouse.  Perhaps you dream of starting your own business or working on a different type of job.  Tell your spouse and perhaps you will gain a companion or at least support.

I know some of you may be thinking, “What if my husband wants us to be Bonnie and Clyde and we start robbing banks?”  Keep it legal and keep it righteous.  Perhaps what your husband is really saying is that he wants to do something crazy and adventurous with his wife.  Anyway, share your heart with your spouse and enjoy more of your life together because of it. 

Be Active Together

A person who plays regularly on a team begins to bond with their teammates.  Basketball players begin to know what the other person is going to do before he does it and the next thing you know, the play of the century happens.  In a similar manner, be active with your spouse by working out together, riding bikes with each other, hiking, bowling, or whatever.  Just spend some time being active and enjoying life together.

Working out together is very beneficial because not only are you working on your fitness and health, you are also growing a friendship bond.  You start getting good at working together, which is impossible to do if he does his thing and she does her thing in the daily grind in Household, Inc.

Balance Life

“All work and no play” isn’t good nor is all play and no work.  We all have responsibilities and we need to meet those responsibilities.  We shouldn’t allow the pursuit of enjoyment hinder us from meeting our responsibilities because unmet duties can cause unnecessary stress, which then hinders fun.  So, balance your life between work and play.  It is easy for us to get caught up in the daily responsibilities, but we must constantly remind ourselves to enjoy life and make that a priority too.

Having good times together will help when things do get bad.  Having a good relationship and friendship with your spouse will make it much easier to get through the trials of life together victoriously.  Remember to have fun but remember to be balanced too.


Marriage is not all about how to work to make it a happy one.  Marriage is a relationship so enjoy it.  Focus on having fun, having success, and getting things done.  Balance work and play so that happy overall and even full of joy when issues arise.  Take every opportunity and make opportunities for you and your spouse to enjoy life together just like when you were dating.  With all the work and responsibilities that we have in our daily grind, don’t forget to enjoy your life together!

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