There is a saying, “Happy Wife.  Happy Life.”  It sounds logical, but only in a feminist mindset in my opinion.  This statement shows how lopsided our society is towards women.  I believe a marriage should be balanced.  Both should be happy so that their life together (as one) is happy, not just one side.  The husband may work hard to make his wife happy and in the process cause misery for himself.  He strives to meet the needs of his wife only to have his needs and desires neglected.  According to our society, it is the husband’s duty to make the wife happy, provide for her, protect her, etc.  What is the wife’s duty to the husband?  That’s where things fall apart.

Furthermore, it is futile to rely on another person to make you happy.  We are responsible for our own happiness.  Ensure that you do things that you enjoy and makes you happy.  Of course, they should be legal, godly, and nothing that would have a negative effect on the marriage relationship.  For example, I wouldn’t pursue going to strip clubs because they make me happy.  I’m sure you understand the problem with that.  Be sure to do the things you enjoy.  Maybe you enjoy working on cars.  Pursue it.  Maybe you enjoy hiking.  Then make opportunities to do it.

A happy wife will surely make the husbands life that much easier.  Dealing with anyone who is unhappy could be problematic and exhausting.  The husband and wife should both seek happiness.  The husband should strive to make his wife happy AND the wife should strive to make the husband happy.  It is wrong to think that a happy life is obtained by a happy wife.  Besides, you may not know what makes your wife happy.

It is very important to remember that a healthy marriage involves two people who have come together as one.  Togetherness is critical here (See my post on togetherness).  If the two are really one, then being happy is a singular pursuit, not a one-sided one.  Both strive to be happy and making their spouse happy is part of it.  I enjoy doing things that make my wife, Carla, happy though many times I don’t know what that would be.  It is better to try to make a person laugh than frown I suppose.

My point here is don’t look at a happy marriage life as making the wife happy. That won’t do it and will lead to your demise in the relationship.  Instead, ensure your own happiness and include making your spouse happy as something that makes you happy. Then you both can have a happy life…together.

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