Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a challenging condition that many married men experience. It negatively affects his self-esteem, self-confidence, and his perceived manhood, among other things. As a result, he may feel less than a man and inadequate because he cannot please his wife sexually. As a result, he may start avoiding sexual encounters with his wife and limit or stop the playful fondling that his wife may have become accustomed to.
However, ED can also negatively affect his wife and, therefore, his marriage. For example, she may think that he is no longer attracted to her or no longer desires her when he avoids sexual encounters. She may also reason that she is doing something wrong. His seeming rejection may cause her to disconnect from him and exacerbate an already sensitive situation.
The comforting news is that wives can play a significant part in helping their husbands deal with and even overcome erectile dysfunction. In addition, the couple can still enjoy sex together while they work to resolve his ED condition. Therefore, wives should be loving and understanding to help their husbands. Likewise, husbands should be understanding and caring to allow their wives to be involved in the quest for eliminating ED.
This article will share some tips that wives can use to help their husbands cope with or overcome erectile dysfunction and continue enjoying sex during the ED condition.
Don’t take it personally
A wife may think that she is doing something wrong, causing her husband to avoid sexual encounters with her. For example, she may reason that her husband isn’t attracted to her any longer because of a recent weight gain. However, she is unaware that her husband avoids sex because he fears he won’t perform and won’t please her.
Therefore, wives should not take their husbands’ avoidance of sex personally but instead open communication channels to discover what is going on. Be loving and understanding when you bring the topic up with your husband. Understand that he probably feels awful and embarrassed because he cannot perform as he would like and as he believes you would like him to sexually.
Be supportive and loving
The best way to help your partner cope with ED is by providing a safe and nonjudgmental space. Support him and encourage him because he needs it. The stress he feels because of ED makes it worse. However, if you, his wife, can provide that safe space for him, he will cope with it that much better.
The last thing he needs is for his wife to express her displeasure with him not performing the way she wants. The situation can quickly escalate into areas far removed from just ED. He might start resenting her and disconnect from her altogether to avoid further pain and embarrassment. But, of course, that is not good for the marriage.
Consider what your husband might be going through in coping with ED. He feels embarrassed, worried, less than a man, and more. Those alone will help to send him spiraling down a rabbit hole of despair, which can make ED worse. Help your husband maintain confidence as you work together to overcome ED.
Try New Things
Not maintaining an erection does not mean the end of the sex life between a husband and wife. Try new things (even without and after the ED condition). Spend more time in foreplay, watch an erotic movie together, experiment with sex toys (e.g., dildo), vibrator, oral sex, etc.
Make the sexual relationship with your husband more than just about a hard penis. Learn to enjoy sex with each other in different ways. What would you like your husband to do that doesn’t involve a hard penis? Show him what he can do to make you feel good. Pleasing you apart from an erect penis will help increase his confidence. The “new things” can be done even after the ED condition is resolved.
Talk About It
Let your husband know how you feel about it in an empathetic and understanding way. Don’t judge or criticize him about his sexual performance. Instead, talk about what you both will do for sexual pleasure in the meantime. Allow your husband to express himself, understanding how profoundly embarrassed and hurt he might feel about his ED.
Communicating is extremely important in marriage, and ED is no exception. Be open with your husband and encourage him to be honest with you. Let him know that you are with him and that you don’t see him as less than a man.
Encourage A Doctor Visit
Men typically do not want to be perceived as being weak or vulnerable. Therefore, he may avoid going to the doctor because, in his mind, that sends the signal to everyone around that he has a vulnerability. Therefore, encourage him to go to the doctor to find the cause of the ED. Then, ask to go with him for even more support!
Be Careful With Drugs
Be cautious about drugs that promise to cure ED. Some medicines may do more harm than good. Due diligence is in order here. Do not get blinded by the mere desire for a hard penis. Some drugs work, but they may cause adverse side effects.
ED may take time to resolve, so do not expect a quick fix by the promises of medications or medical procedures. The ideal course of action is to determine what is causing the ED and resolve that. If you eliminate the cause, then ED will disappear.
Educate Yourself About ED
The more you learn about ED and its effects on your husband, the more you can help. You’ll be able to talk about short-term solutions, lifestyle changes, doctor visits, and more. It would be fantastic if you and your husband read blogs, watched informational videos, and more together. Your involvement in the pursuit of a solution will help him immensely.
Assure Him of Your Love
A husband suffering from ED might think that it will affect his wife’s love for him. He can quickly go down that rabbit hole of despair. Assure him that you still love him and desire him sexually. Yes. ED will temporarily change the way you have sex, but it doesn’t mean ending a sexual relationship between you and your husband.
Let him know that you are with him and that together he will overcome ED.
Don’t Make It About You
Don’t make your husband’s ED about you. For example, don’t begin to express your displeasure because he can’t maintain an erection for sex. That kind of attitude is counter-productive, and he will remember it after overcoming ED.
You and your husband should meet challenges within the marriage together.
Stay optimistic about your sex life with your husband and resolving ED. Your positive attitude will help him cope with ED and cure it. Yes. You might be disappointed because of the ED. However, remember that there are treatments for it, and you can enjoy incredible sex with your husband even now.
Encourage Lifestyle Changes
Some activities can exacerbate erectile dysfunction, such as drug use, heavy drinking, and smoking. You may encourage your husband to decrease or eliminate these things and replace them with healthier activities like exercising and a balanced diet.
The way you and your husband have sex will change as well. So take this opportunity to try new things that can last even after the resolution of ED.
Be His Porn
The brain learns to be aroused by images of women instead of real ones when you view pornography for an extended long time. There are many reasons why a man (or woman) would consider porn. Resolving the ED issue may involve resolving a porn issue. One thing that a wife can do is be the object of his fantasies to help him reprogram his brain to want the real thing, i.e., his wife.
Be sexy for him. Initiate sex even if he can’t maintain an erection. Find ways of helping him to pleasure you so that he doesn’t become distressed about his ED.
Erectile dysfunction is challenging for a married man because it interferes with his ability to perform sexually. In addition, it can cause him to become depressed and feel inadequate as a man. However, a wife can do much to help him cope with and overcome ED. Above all, she can be supportive, encouraging, loving, and experimental for new ways to have sex now and after ED.
ED is just one thing that challenges a marriage. Work together to resolve it. Use the tips presented in this article to help your husband overcome ED. Be a loving, caring, understanding, and empathetic partner for your husband.
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Ways to enjoy each other other than intercourse
That is a very good point, Theresa. It can be applied to marriage in general and not only to help with erectile dysfunction. Don’t get me wrong. Sex is how men connect with their wives in general. A woman tends to connect with her husband emotionally. It’s almost like cats and dogs. However, even cats and dogs can learn to get along. The key is communications. There are many ways to enjoy each other apart from intercourse. In this context, learning to enjoy each other apart from intercourse is a great way to help your husband deal with erectile dysfunction until it is resolved. Thanks for writing.