What do husbands want from their wives?  Husbands want more than sex.  A lot of women believe that men only want sex.  Some wives think that if they can just provide sex to their husband, then he’ll be happy and stick around in both mind and body.  Some women even use sex against their husbands in an effort to control them or manipulate them.  However, some women find out the hard way that sex isn’t the only thing that matters to a man.  As a matter of fact, mere sex is not as important to a man as you may think.  A husband perceives and/or receives love, for example, from his wife through sex.

If sex is refused in a man’s marriage then the respect, love, compassion, and more that he wants from his wife is filled by something or someone else.  Sometimes that “something else” is another woman.  Of course, men have libidos that need to be satisfied preferably by his wife.  Most people are familiar with this aspect of sex within a marriage relationship.  What some fail to realize is that sex isn’t the only thing that a husband wants…craves.

What I’d like to briefly discuss in this article is that sex is not enough to keep a husband around physically and mentally or keep him happy.  Sex is not enough for him to love his wife or desire her.  Giving yourself to your husband sexually, though potentially pleasing to him, may not satisfy all his needs in the relationship because there are many more things that he wants.

I remember a movie titled, “What a Woman Wants,” which starred Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt.  Men are accustomed to hearing about and being sensitive to what a woman wants.  However, the converse does not seem to be the case.  I’ve never heard of a movie or anything about what a man wants.  That is probably because it is assumed that what a man wants is merely sex.  That is far from the truth and I have found that many women are not aware of that.

So, what does a man want from his wife?  The answer to this question ultimately depends on the man.  However, there are some fundamental things that a man wants from his wife, assuming he is not a womanizer or a momma’s boy, that I would like to present to you in this article.


A Strong Wife

A man wants a woman who is mentally and emotionally strong.  It may seem attractive to have a woman that is weak mentally and emotionally.  However, only a husband who is not really interested in his wife would want that so that could control and manipulate her.  A strong woman wouldn’t tolerate bad or disrespectful behavior from her husband.  A man, therefore, wants a woman that would stand up to him and for him.  He wants a woman that would speak her mind and not cower back when trouble comes.  All the sex in the world cannot replace a strong woman.  However, to a man, a strong woman that has sex willingly with her husband is, to the husband, priceless.


A Physically Fit Wife

A man desires a woman that is physically fit.  This doesn’t mean that she has to look like a fitness model, or a woman body builder.  It simply means that she is active and fit and he likes the way she looks. Men are visually stimulated creatures.  We are significantly moved by what we see.  Therefore, if a husband’s wife looks good to him, then he is more likely to nurture good feelings towards her and want to be with her.  If she is not pleasing for him to look at then that is just one thing that negatively affects the relationship.  It doesn’t mean that he will want to leave her.  No.  It only means that there are no points in the visual department so to speak.

Therefore, the wife should make it a priority to take care of herself physically through some type of exercise or physical activity.  The husband should of course do the same.  Ideally, they would find time to exercise together sometimes, which creates more of a bond between them.

Let me make something clear about the wife being physically fit.  This does not refer to a particular body type or size.  Some men like large women and some men like petite women. The issue here is not in body type, but rather in the fitness of the wife’s body.  The wife may not be lean with 2% body fat.  She may have love handles and big legs.  That is ok as long as it is ok with the wife personally and her husband finds her to be attractive.  So a wife should not feel that she has to judge her looks based on what is popular or on someone else.  Just be yourself and be fit.  If it is healthier to lose weight, then do it.  Don’t feel that you have to change your body just to look good for husband.  Consider yourself and your health as well.


A Respectful Wife

Lack of respect towards the husband is one way that a marriage relationship can be quickly destroyed.  Men do not want to be disrespected by their wives because that sends a strong message to him.  It says that she doesn’t value him or even love him.  How can you love someone that you disrespect?  Therefore, it is critical that the husband receives respect from his wife in public and at home.

The wife’s respect for her husband does not mean that she blindly agrees with what he says so as not to seem disrespectful.  If the wife disagrees with the husband on an issue or conclusion, then she should speak up (remember the strong woman).  She can disagree respectfully by not being condescending, belligerent, or otherwise belittling him especially in public.


A Wife Who Has His Back

One of the worse things that can happen in a marriage relationship is for the husband to think that his wife does not have his back.  If he thinks she is a weak link in their relationship, then he WILL take steps to protect himself from her and in the process inadvertently isolating her.  This is actually a matter of trust.  He doesn’t trust that his wife would fight for him or with him.

A man’s heart would light up like fireworks if he witnesses his wife standing up for him, thus protecting him.  This is extremely important to a man.  A man wants to know in his heart that his wife has his back.


A Spiritually Sound Wife

Christian men desire a woman that are spiritually sound.  Of course, a Christian man wants to marry a woman who is also Christian.  The marriage relationship would suffer much friction if they are not both Christian due to the differences in their worldviews, morals, ethics, etc.  So, a Christian wife should be sufficiently knowledgeable with the fundamentals of the Christian faith and Christian worldview as revealed in the Bible.  She should be able to have intelligent conversations with her husband about Christian topics.

Much can be said about the importance of a Christian wife who can talk intelligently about Christian topics with her husband.  A man would find that very attractive and very fulfilling. It would be even better if his wife was part of his ministry (if he is a minister of some type).  Any man would be impressed with a woman such as this.


A Companion and Partner

Men desire woman that will be his companion.  I’m not talking about a mere sex partner or business partner.  I’m talking about someone that is really a part of his life.  Someone who treks through life with him.  This companionship is also manifested by her being his helper as the Bible defines a woman’s relationship to her husband (Genesis 2:18).  Of course, his wife is also compatible, which is the area that I believe many men and women do not consider prior to marriage.  The woman that a man marries should be compatible with his dreams, goals, worldview, etc.  The Bible warns us to be equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14), which can be applied to more than merely being a Christian.  It refers to compatibility between the husband and wife.

A wife who is her husband’s partner will become involved in the things that he does (and he in the things she does).  After all, she is his helper. Therefore, as he moves forward to accomplish his goals and visions, she will be at his side to help him and partner with him to make that dream come true. Since she is already compatible with him, then she shares his dreams or has dreams of her own that are compatible or subsets of his dreams.  It cannot be overemphasized how important being a partner to her husband is.

A husband will begin to pull away from his wife if she does not become his partner.  He may begin to think that she married him for other reasons besides wanting to commit to him and be his helper.  He may suspect an ulterior motive and pull away from her even more.  The more she refuses to be his partner, the more he will pull away.  The dangerous thing here is that another woman could position herself to be his partner.



Men want more from their wives than sex.  Yes.  Men love sex.  Men need sex.  Men think about sex a lot during any day and even while sleeping.  However, men want more than sex from their wives.  A man wants to be respected by his wife.  He wants to know that he can trust her to protect him.  He wants a wife who is physically fit, mentally and emotionally strong, and not weak minded.  He wants a wife that stand for something and will stand up for him.  Most of all, he wants a partner.  Why get married if the two aren’t partners?

Each man is different and therefore each man may want other things from their wives or not all the things listed in this article.  Therefore, it would behoove the wife to get to know her husband intimately (and the husband his wife intimately).  If a man is deprived of something he craves (in addition to sex), then he may look elsewhere to become fulfilled or that fulfillment may chase him, if you know what I mean.

Wives have to realize that men want more than sex.  Husband wants more from their wives than a healthy sex relationship.  Be that for him and move that much more towards a happy marriage.  Husbands should keep in mind the needs of their wives, which we will discuss in a separate article.


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