Reggie | Apr 3, 2019 | 0
Is My Marriage Going to be a Happy Marriage?
Your marriage may be in a state where you ask yourself, “Why should I fight for my marriage?” However, there are some married couples who fight all obstacles to work hard at establishing and maintaining a happy marriage? Why do they do it and how can you assess the state of your marriage so that you can take corrective actions to move towards a happy one? Some people understand that a happy marriage has many benefits and that those benefits are worth fighting for a happy marriage. Let’s discuss some of those benefits and how you can evaluate your marriage to determine if you need to make some adjustments in a pursuit of a happy marriage.
Many health benefits are associated with a happy marriage such as longevity and better physical health, which includes a decreased chance of cancer, heart disease, and more. A happy marriage can also reduce stress for the couple and in the process reduce the chances of acquiring many stress-related conditions. There are also financial benefits because the income of the two are consolidated making them able to afford more than they could alone. A couple who is experiencing a happy marriage will also have a more positive outlook on life even when bad things happen, because they will always have a pleasant environment (the marriage relationship) to go to so to speak. They know that they have each other to help and provide comfort for the challenges of life and therefore tend to fair better when those challenges come.
The many benefits of a happy marriage make it worth fighting for. However, it is better to take a proactive approach to managing your marriage relationship than to wait until something goes awry and then work towards resolution (break and fix). So here are some things you can use to gauge the condition of your marriage and determine what trajectory your marriage relationship is on so to speak, which will provide you with the information you need to take corrective actions.
THE FUN FACTOR
How much fun do you have together? A couple who are in a happy marriage enjoy life together and have fun with each other. These couples laugh with each other while they spend quality fun time with each other in whatever ways are expedient in their relationship.
if you evaluate your marriage relationship and find that you and your spouse do not spend quality time together to have fun, then that is an indication that something may be wrong, and a correction is needed. Sometimes we allow the responsibilities of life, the children, church, and more to interfere with the relationship that should be given a much higher priority. Resolve any issues and start spending quality time with your spouse to have some fun and enjoy life!
QUALITY TIME FACTOR
How much quality time do you spend with each other? Watching TV or going to the movies together is not quality time because you are not engaged with each other but are merely in the same place at the same time. Spending quality time together means that you are actively engaged with each other as opposed to you both separately being engaged with something else, e.g., the television. Quality time together could be a date night (without the kids), sitting on the deck having an intimate conversation, going to an amusement park, and of course sex, which we will discuss shortly.
If you are not spending quality time together with your spouse, then your marriage is missing out on the primary opportunity to build it into a happy one. It seems impossible to build a happy marriage if the husband and wife do not prioritize their relationship. You must spend quality time together if you hope to have a happy marriage and realize the benefits of a happy marriage.
How much do you support your spouse? A happy marriage means that you support one another. If your wife wants to go to school to learn basketball, then support her. Use that as an opportunity to spend quality time with her, and to have some fun! Recognize your spouse’s accomplishments and appreciate the things they do around the house or things pertaining to the marriage relationship.
If you haven’t been supporting your spouse, then perhaps you don’t know what his or her passions or you are to self-absorbed. Open up to your spouse and discover what he or she wants to do and support him or her in that. We tend to feel good about people who support and appreciate us, which is great for a marriage relationship. So, support your spouse and show your appreciation of what he or she does.
THE SEX FACTOR
A great gauge of the state or condition of a marriage relationship is the amount of sex that the couple has with each other. Even if there are medical or psychological issues affecting how the couple have sex, they will still find a way to do it somehow. Sex in marriage is the ultimate in intimacy and quality time, and it can be fun too! A sexless marriage is an indication that there are problems in the marriage that need to be resolved. It can easily produce resentment, which leads to even more problems making resolution more difficult as the months and years pass.
So, if you and your spouse are not having sex, then determine why, fix it, come together, and start having great sex together frequently.
Do you have to walk on eggshells to share your heart or feelings with your spouse? One of the most important skills to have in marriage is learning to communicate effectively with your spouse such that you avoid hurting their feelings or at least in a manner that your spouse does not take offense. At the same time, another very important and complimentary skill in communicating with your spouse is to interpret what you are told as a positive and not a negative. Your spouse may say something to you that hurts your feelings, but you don’t have to accept that emotion, but instead control them and tell yourself that your spouse is not trying to hurt your feelings, but rather is trying to be honest for the sake of the relationship.
If you find that you can’t be honest with your spouse, then there is a serious issue interfering with the destination of a happy marriage. It is impossible to have a happy marriage if the husband and wife can’t be honest with each other and if emotions are a priority over truth. So, learn to be honest with each other in a respectful manner and learn to take what your spouse tells you as a positive instead of a negative. A couple that can be honest with each other is a couple that are probably the best of friends.
Unfortunately, some people think that because a couple is married that they are best friends. This is far from the truth. Best friends are established in a marriage in the same way that they are established outside of marriage. Besides, if it was true that being married automatically makes you best friends, then that would mean that being married automatically makes you happy. It just doesn’t work that way in the real world. A happy marriage requires work from the husband and wife.
To be best friends with your spouse, you need to get to know him or her intimately, the same way you would get to know someone outside of the marriage who is your best friend. Enjoy life together by exercising together, playing games together, doing hobbies together, etc. This will set the stage for a friendship to grow and before you know it, your spouse thinks of you as their best friend.
Fight for your marriage! For one thing, there are many benefits to a happy marriage and they can only be realized if you work at achieving a happy marriage so that you can enjoy your life together and enjoy life overall. It is well worth to fix a broken marriage and ideally to establish a good and happy one right from the beginning. So, if you are married, then work for a happy one. If you are contemplating marriage, then know that you will have to work to make your marriage a happy one and then you will be so glad you did.