Minister To Your Spouse


When was the last time you ministered to your spouse?  Do you take the time to encourage, set at ease, empower, or otherwise comfort your spouse when he or she is troubled, confused, or just feeling bad?  What about when your spouse is sick (especially for the wives)?  Do you become your husband’s mother, or do you speak words of life and the power of God over him?  Do you minister the word of God to your wife when she is sick?  Husbands and wives need to take the time and make the time to minister to each other.  That means to encourage, empower, bless, and otherwise help your spouse get through troubling times and/or troubling situations.  You need to minister to your spouse!

The Daily Grind

It is so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and neglect your spouse.  It is so easy for a woman to focus most of her attention on her children and/or her job/career and at the same time neglect her husband.  Likewise, it is easy for a man to get so caught up in his work and duties that he doesn’t realize that he has left his wife out to dry so to speak.  Regardless of how busy you think you are; you need to spend quality time with your spouse and be a source of encouragement to him/her.  It’s funny how people spend so much time doing other things instead of nurturing their relationship with their spouse.

Risk It

Sometimes you may not want to initiate a conversation with your spouse to encourage or minister to him/her because you think that the issue is sensitive, and he/she may become upset that you brought it up.  However, you have to take that risk.  Your relationship should be at a point where even if it is a sensitive issue, he/she knows that you mean well and that you are simply trying to help.  That alone will minister to him/her.

If you are the one going through some trouble and your spouse is attempting to help you, then be open to that. Don’t close your spouse out.  Don’t snap at him/her if at all possible.  Realize that your spouse is only trying to help.  Be open to that help and don’t allow pride or shame to inhibit your ability to receive ministry from your spouse.

Minister God’s Word

I believe that it is very important that husband and wife minister God’s word to each other, even in good times.  When trouble comes then that is a great time to read scripture to your troubled spouse and let him/her know that God is with them and is helping.  Be a doer of the word as well.  Lay hands on your spouse and speak words of life, especially in the situations of illness.  Just be sure to use the word of God when ministering to your spouse.

Pray for Each Other

It is one thing to say you love your spouse or that you care about him/her, and it is another thing for that love to be demonstrated.  Even the Bible says that God demonstrated His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (See Romans 5:8).  Actions that express love for another is a true indication that there is love for that person.  Therefore, a husband and wife can demonstrate the love that they profess by doing things that express that love.

One of the things that you can do to show your spouse that you love him/her is to pray for him/her.  I don’t mean to pray while you’re alone or in your “secret closet.”  I mean pray on the spot when something comes up or you discover something that your spouse needs prayer for.  For example, if your spouse has an ailment, then pray for him/her.  Lay hands on him and tell the mountain to move, so to speak.

Praying for each other should be a regular practice within the relationship.  It is said that a family that prays together stays together.  Prayer is a fundamental and powerful practice in the Christian faith.  Therefore, it should be a normal part of a marriage relationship and part of ministering to each other during good times and bad times.

Bless Your Spouse

To bless your spouse in this case means to speak words of life, prosperity, fulfillment, etc. over your spouse with your spouse.  You can encourage your wife by speaking words of encouragement and support over her when she wants to start a business for example.  You could say something like, “May your business grow to great heights and that you would help countless people and be a blessing to a multitude.”

Speaking positive words over your spouse (and yourself) goes a long way to helping you achieve your goals and build your relationship.  Blessing your spouse also shows that you care about him, is supportive of her, or otherwise want the best for him/her.  So, practice blessing your spouse starting now.

Minister Through Sex

At least for a guy, there is no better way for a wife to make her husband feel better than with sex.  By sex, I don’t necessarily mean to simply have intercourse.  I mean petting, kissing, licking, sucking, and all kinds of ways to be intimate. This could mean having a deep conversation along with intimate acts.  A husband can touch his wife deeply through appealing to her emotions and becoming intimate through conversation, which may or may not lead to sex.  Basically, minister to your spouse through acts of intimacy.

The husband (from a man’s perspective) will feel loved when his wife approaches him sensually with the goal of having sex with him while telling him, “Everything will be alright, so relax and enjoy” or something to that effect.  The goal is to get your spouse to relax and not focus on the problem because the problem will pass, so enjoy life now.

Sex brings a couple together and without it the relationship is already in trouble.  A couple that is truly together will have regular sex (whatever that means to the couple).  Intimacy will be a major item in the relationship and coming together in good times and bad will only help strengthen the relationship for later challenges.  So, have sex, assuming your relationship is such that sex is appropriate.  If not, then fix the relationship and then celebrate with more sex.  Feel good and help each other feel good too.

Sex is a powerful force on this earth and therefore, will have a profound impact on the marital relationship.  Seek to express love through sex.  Seek to relax your spouse through sex.  Speak to your spouse through sex and see how much closer you will become to each other.

Don’t Give Up on Ministering

If you do not have an intimate relationship with your spouse, but rather find that you and your spouse are cell mates or roommates, then you will need time for your spouse to respond to your ministering to him/her.  He/she is used to a certain behavior from you, which, in this case, is not intimate or demonstrating love.  Therefore, he/she may not know how to respond to your sudden practice of ministering to him or her.  It will take time for your spouse to process and accept your new behavior changes in a relationship.  So, don’t give up.  Keep at it and eventually your spouse will come around and realize that you have changed and that your ministering is real.


Turn the television off.  Get your face out of social media.  Stop talking about the kids, your job, and your day, and instead minister to your spouse.  Speak kind words to him/her.  Encourage him/her when things are tough, or he/she is feeling discouraged.  Use sex to change the emotional state of your spouse so that they can get their mind off the problem.  Pray for your spouse on the spot and demonstrate your love and care for him/her.

Regularly ministering to your spouse will do wonders for the relationship because you are getting involved with each other’s life.  This will move you beyond being roommates to being soulmates because ministering to each other reaches the heart.  Make it a regular practice to minister to each other.


Free Ebook: What Happens to Love In Marriage

Get your free copy of "What Happens to Love in Marriage?" Learn the path that love takes in a marriage and how you can nurture it to produce the loving, happy, and fulfilling marriage that you desire to have.

What Happens to Love in Marriage Opt-in