I’ve read many times that one of the needs of a woman is to have meaningful and/or deep conversations with her husband. The stereotypical woman loves to talk (I know some guys who love to talk too, so it goes both ways). Anyway, sometimes your husband wants you to listen to him and empathize with him in what he is going through, troubling him, or what’s on his mind. Sometimes he wants to do the talking while you, the wife, does the listening. This is critical, ladies.
Men Have Feelings Too
Let it be known that men have feelings too. Sometimes we may feel helpless in a situation and want desperately to make things right or make them work. Sometimes our boss really annoys us, and we are so frustrated that we could punch a hole in the wall (that’s why guys hit things the way we do. We’re frustrated, and that energy comes out like that). Other times, the problems and challenges of life weigh us down and we become weary. However, if we only had someone to talk to that would at least listen, empathize, and most of all encourage us, then we would be able to much better handle the pressures that fall upon us.
We get angry, which makes men agitated and not too fun to be around. However, all we want is a friend to tell us that everything will be alright or that we will be able to overcome this challenge too. I remember when I was laid off many years ago, how a few words from a minister friend of mine made so much of a difference. Pastor Willie Wilson told me, “This doesn’t have to be the end.” That gave me the jump start I needed to persevere during that time, and just like he said, that wasn’t the end.
Men Are Human
There is so much information about how the husband should meet the needs of his wife and how the wife should meet her husband’s overpowering sexual needs. I’ll tell you that there is another very powerful need that all men have. We need to be the hero and we need to be appreciated. If we are not the hero, i.e., the person that makes it all work, then we begin to feel very inadequate, to say the least. We must remember that men are humans and therefore have feelings, disappointments, fears, etc. Sometimes, I dare say many times, we need our wives to be there by our side to help us through those times just as she expects her husband to be strong and supportive for her in her times of distress.
Stop Talking and Take Him to the Bright Side
Dear wife. Stop talking about the kids, about what you had to do today, or about your job when your man appears distressed or distant. You can discuss those things later. Take notice of his emotional state and do something constructive about it so that he goes from darkness to the bright side of things. He needs you to listen to him and help him through his time of distress. He needs to be reassured that the light at the other end of the tunnel is success and not a train coming in the opposite direction. He doesn’t need to know how little Johnny was able to climb the tree for the first time, or what the teacher said about your son, at least for now. He needs you to be with him and help him through. Stop talking about other stuff and focus on your husband to help him change his state of mind from zero to hero, from darkness to the bright side!
Turn off the TV
Attention wives. Turn off the TV and spend some time discussing things with your husband just as you expect him to do for you when he wants to watch a series of ballgames. Sometimes your man is distressed and needs someone to listen to him and encourage him. He desperately desires his wife to be there for him to help him over the hump so to speak. He won’t do that if he thinks you aren’t concerned about his feelings or state of mind because you keep watching the TV or doing whatever it is you’re doing. Your husband should be a priority.
Pray for Him
One of the most neglected things that I see in the Christian community is
Men are human, have feelings, and get distressed and frustrated sometimes. He may have had a hard day at work or a bad drive home. Whatever is bothering him can be easily handled if his wife is by his side encouraging him and helping him to get his state of mind to a positive state. Husbands need their wives to get them from the darkness of despair to the brightness of a positive attitude. Take the time to listen to your husband and put your own things aside for a moment. If you don’t do that then you will have to watch your man distant himself from you until he can sort things out himself.
Marriage & Making it Work
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